It's my hips, isn't it????

Dudes. I am in a funk.
Just a real down in the dumps funk.

I am starting to feel like I don't have much to offer as a friend. Sometimes I feel like an outcast, or even some kind of nuisance.

I think one of the reasons that I am feeling this way is because of a friend of mine. We both have families, and jobs. The worst part is that I work days, and she works nights, so we rarely have the same window of free time. But she is home every evening. I ask her to hang out all the time, and she almost always says no. Its a different excuse each time. Either she has to take a nap, or can't leave until the husband gets home, or has to watch Survivor, etc. Its always something.

This last weekend, I sat down with Harley and we went through her closet and dresser and took out all of the clothes that dont fit her anymore. She hands down clothes to my friend's daughter. So when I got this bag of clothes together, I called my friend on Saturday and invited her to bring her daughter over to swim with Harley, and offerred for her to sift through the clothes. She said she would come over on Sunday. Sunday night came around and she ditched me. Last night came around, and she tried to ditch me but came over anyway "only because she said she would." And only stayed for about 20 minutes at best.

Tonight I called her while I was on my way to the pool. She was at her friends softball game. huh? I mean seriously? Why can she find the time to go down to someone else's softball game, but I have to beg for time with her. I dont feel like I should have to beg my best friend to hang out with me. But that is what its turned in to. Sometimes I am afraid to ask her to do anything, because I dont want to get rejected. Then last week she called me, and I was so excited when she asked me if I was busy, or had any plans, that I just blurted out "no I am totally free." Then she asked me to freaking babysit...sigh.

I just feel so sad. I mean I know I dont always go to things that I am invited to. Everyone is intitled to say no. It just gets old. And I hope that things start to get better soon.