Because I need to...

I "need" to blog.

Everytime i think about it, i become massivly overwhelmed. There isnt enough to talk about, or, there is too much to talk about.

I'm just going to ramble, and be random, so... hang on.

I've been losing weight. I didnt want to blog about losing weight. I dont like telling people I am on a diet.
Today marks my 28th day. I am down 14.6 pounds.
Its Medifast, I feel good. I no longer constantly think about my next meal.
But I feel the need to write about this, because losing weight is hard. Sticking to the diet, thats pretty easy. Not seeing the scale move as fast as I want it to, thats hard.

I am going to start walking again. Walking will turn into jogging soon. I am going to Spokane in May. I already made reservations. Dennis will take me up there and cheer me on. I will do it alone. 7.46 miles, I know I will finish the Bloomsday run. My goal is to be able to run more than 1/2 of it.
I think i need to buy all of the runners gear. The tight shiny black running pants, and a sweat band.

The kids have been naughty lately.

Bubba's grades a month ago were so awful. It's embarrassing. I dont like telling people that the kid I am raising is a slacker. He is doing much better now. The first semester of High School almost got the best of him. He passed all of his classes. I prayed for him everyday.

Harley has been naughty too. She can be quite mean to her dad and her brother. We dont relate. I try very hard. She is a good kid. She really is. I look at other people's kids, and am so thankful. But I have little patience for her. I pray for patience, everyday.

The family and I went to church this last Sunday.

I havent blogged about this subject at all.

This last year has been so...eye opening. God is present in my life. I know he has always been here, but maybe I havent allowed myself to acknowledge Him? I was afraid, maybe I still am a little. I know God is working in me, my eyes are wide open, and so is my heart, and I am letting Him in. I am finding myself so moved, and so touched, by worship music, the Bible, and other Christians. And I know that I need this relationship with God.

We decided as a family, to start looking for a church. I have gone to church in the past, but I want a church to go to... all the time. I didnt want the church I picked to be one of those "i have been to church before" churches. I want to regularly attend a church, and I want to worship God, in church, with my family. I want to be around other people who do the same thing, I want to be around Christians.

We knew that we would try New Hope Church, because of the great things we have heard about it. They also have an amazing youth program. I am going to admit something, I was almost "afraid" to like the church. Fears of not fitting in, fear of commitment.

I wasn't raised Christian.

I wasnt raised to believe in God at all.

Are "they" going to know? Are they going to see that?

Are people going to wonder what I/we are doing there?

Am I going to be accepted?

What is expected of me?

These questions are still looming, yet I cant wait to go back next Sunday.

and with that said, I think that is enough "sharing" for one night.